Wardens:

Most of you know me... A lot of you know I graduated my last, which means I'm stuck waiting around until I get another. Which, seriously, is fine by me. I'd much rather relax than get set up with a total dickhole and spend my days banging my head against a wall.

But all this talk about regulations, standards, convening verdicts?

I get on OK with some of you, this is doing you all a favour ahead of time: Unless I do something like trying to turn the ship into a black hole, I'm giving out one warning and one warning only.

My methods can be harsh. I neither need nor want anyone who isn't involved judging me for what I do. You got an opinion? Keep it to yourself. Or argue it out with me. I'm easy.

But if I'm ever brought up before some bullshit 'Board Of Directors' vaudeville act, I will tear somebody's balls off. Figuratively and literally.

I don't like where all this has been heading. Never have. Used to warn how things could end up getting like this - and worse - back in the days of Sam Tyler. If we can't work out things between ourselves, like the responsible adults we're supposed to be pretending we are, what kind of example's that setting the inmates? We don't need committees, we don't need votes, we don't need any of this. All we need's common sense.

Now, I've said my piece... I'm sure a bunch of you are going to disagree. You can blame it on my 'hot-headed American values', me being half-vamp or whatever. I don't care. Hell, ignore it, if you want. I'm letting you know what'll happen if this ever comes my way.

Don't say I never told you.