A Personal Bitch Me Request

[acid_rayne]

So, a few replies I've had got me curious... Indulge me.

Assuming we don't have some kind of pre-existing animosity, I figure my reputation's pretty, y'know, out there. Maybe a few of you still don't know me and that's cool. Can't say I know most of you, either. But the other way around's probably got a better chance than most.

I'm known as... What? The 'violent one'? The 'angry one'? Can't say we've got a shortage of those.

Anyhow, point still stands. A lot of you know me for something, be it my charming social etiquette, my bitching or whatever. And I make the odd casual threat, here and there, no doubt.

Hey, I'm old lady - I'm entitled, man. If I was like most of you, I'd be complaining about needing a new hip or something.

But have I ever actually done something... Y'know... Bad. Like, actually evil. Outside of that other place, that is, 'cause... Everyone was crazy there.

I mean, I've got paired up now. I've got someone I need to get some kind of trust going with. What good's it going to be if he gets told by folks on the sly that, "Ooh! You've got Rayne! She's gonna' stab you with knives and call your mom names!"

So... Aside from my quick temper (and a lot of you probably remember why that is), have I ever actually crossed a line? Done something which had, like, zero justification? I'm not talking about an argument we might have had. This is about me ever doing something.

This here's an amnesty zone. You can call me on bullshit and I won't yell at you for it. I just want to know, because I'm meant to be... Setting an example and stuff.

Comments

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

You've hit the nail on the head. I'm not entirely convinced that you won't go on a murdering spree one day, but at least you're not lying to our faces about barge issues.

[acid_rayne]

One of these days, I'll write about something happy. Alcohol and self-delusion will probably be involved.

Speaking of which... Convinced we're not all one big hallucination yet?

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

It's the only combination that works.

[Pause.] No, I'm not. But acting as if none of this is happening is hardly a productive way to live.

[acid_rayne]

Well, look at it this way... If this is your subconscious, graduation must be the only way to wake up.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I don't think that's likely. And if it is, I don't look forward to waking up in a cell in Arkham.

[acid_rayne]

Then what do you think is likely?

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I either stay here for good, or one day they change my medication and knock me out of it.

[acid_rayne]

You like treading water...?

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

What choice do I have?

[acid_rayne]

Being human and admitting you've got faults.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I'm well aware that I'm not perfect.

[acid_rayne]

Yeah, but you've got that whole... Chemical warfare thing.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

It's an academic specialty.

[acid_rayne]

Gassing people?

C'mon... How'd you like it if it was done to you?

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

It was done to me. And it was fine. [Such lies.]

[acid_rayne]

Uh-huh...

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

It was.

[acid_rayne]

Try to convince your warden of that. You might have better luck.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I don't have a warden. He left.

[acid_rayne]

Then the next one.

I'm sure they'll be happy to interview all the rest of your victims aboard ship to ascertain the validity of your claim.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I said that I wasn't greatly bothered by it. I was the exception to the norm.

[acid_rayne]

You're human, Crane. You're affected by chemicals like everyone else.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

You shouldn't underestimate the power of mind over matter.

[acid_rayne]

I don't.

I also don't underestimate the power of lung absorption and psychotropic drugs.

[doctor-j-crane.livejournal.com]

I could have immunized myself against the effects.